Having done a lot of air travel, I've observed just about every way that people can be impolite to others. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that air travel is more accessible these days, and we haven't, as a group, agreed to a standard etiquette. In addition, being in such close quarters, we have a natural tendency to want to ignore the existence of others. So, here's a set of rules I've put together that, in my opinion, would make air travel a far more pleasant experience for everyone. I realize that many of you will see these rules as being little more than common sense. But, perhaps, there's something in here that you haven't thought of.

Booking your flight...

• Book electronically. There's not much reason these days to book a flight with a paper ticket. Electronic ticketing is far more efficient, and it keeps the lines at the check-in counter short. Unless you have a very compelling need, book your flight electronically.
• Be nice to the reservations agent. If you book your flight by calling the airline, remember that there's a human being on the other end of the phone. This particular human being is also the one who's going to decide whether you get the flight you want, and where you're going to sit. So, be nice. It'll make both of your days go better.

Before your flight...

• Minimize your odor. You're about to sit in a tube with recycled air and 150 other people. They're probably not interested in smelling your perfume/cologne for the next few hours. Besides, odds are one of the passengers are allergic to it.
• Check in over the Internet, if your airline supports it. It'll save you time at the airport.
• Leave early. The Transportation Safety Administration recommends that you arrive two hours in advance of a domestic flight, and three hours before an international departure. I remember a security officer at JFK who detained someone who was complaining about how slowly the line was moving, and that he was going to miss his flight. The detainment included a complete security check, and a (rather verbose) lecture about how it's not the security guard's problem if you were irresponsible and got to the airport late. Remember, if you present yourself as someone who needs to get through security faster than everyone else, then it makes you look suspicious. These days, that's not a Good Thing.
• Obey traffic laws. Since September 11, there's been a far greater police and security presence at the airports. When the speed limit sign says 25, they mean it. They'll pull you over for speeding, and impound your car if they have even a hint that there's a bomb in it. Don't tailgate someone just because they're obeying the law. Again, it's nobody else's problem if you're running late, nor is it anyone's fault, other than yours.
• Don't try to cut the lines. Most airlines have a special line for people who are flying first class. If you're flying coach, then that line is not for you. Same goes for security. If you're running late, it's your fault. Don't inconvenience others because you can't get somewhere on time.
• Be nice to the ticket and gate agents. If you're talking to a ticket or gate agent, it's probably because you want them to do something for you. Remember the adage that you'll catch more flies with honey than vinegar. These people take a lot of crap from people who don't care enough to read web pages like this, that they're always more responsive to a friendly face. Also, remember... If a flight is full, and you're flying standby, a kind word may mean the difference between getting on the plane and sitting in the last remaining first class seat, versus spending the night in a two-star motel, only to get up at 4am to catch a 6:30 flight the next morning.
• Prepare your infant for travel. There are all kinds of things you can do to improve the odds that your child will sleep through the flight. Remember, you're at ground zero for any screaming that commences during takeoff and landing.
• Don't get drunk at the bar. It's illegal for the airline to allow an inebriated person to board a plane. If you get drunk, you may not get on your flight.

Boarding the airplane...

• "Companion Animal" is a legal designation. The fact of the matter is that the Americans with Disabilities Act prohibits the airline from asking you the nature of your companion animal's work, but it's also illegal to claim an animal as a companion animal, unless it's been legally certified as such. Companion animals are subject to special training and rules which minimize their risk to other passengers. If your pet isn't certified as a companion animal, then they pose a serious risk to the passengers and flight crew.
• Preboarding is only for people who need it. If you have mobility problems, are travelling with a companion animal, are a minor travelling alone, or are travelling with infants who are under two years of age, then preboarding is a privilege granted to people like you. If you don't have problems getting around, and you're not travelling with infants, then don't preboard. It's rude. Also, if you're in a group of more than three people, and only one of them is an infant, then send two people on with the infant. There's really no reason for a family of six to all preboard just because they've got one small child, unless, of course, there's only one responsible person in the party.
• Wait patiently for your turn to board. When the gate agent announces preboarding for your flight, that's the time to start gathering your belongings, but stay put until your row is called. Generally speaking, boarding occurs from the rear of the plane. If you're on a 737, sitting in row 12, then you're going to be among the last people to board. Deal with it. There's no reason for you to take up space in the boarding area. It just makes it hard for others to board.
• Say thank you to the gate agent when they take your boarding pass. It'll make their day a little nicer.
• Board quickly. Once you're on the plane, find your row, and get in there. If you're tall enough, duck into your row, and put your bag into the overhead storage area from the aisle seat. It'll allow people behind you to pass.
• Be conscious that there may be other people sitting in your row. This generally applies to people sitting in the aisle seat. If your flight is pretty full, then chances are, there will be someone who's going to have to crawl across you to get to their seat. Make eye contact with people as they approach you, to see if you'll be needing to move when they get to your row. Leave your seatbelt unfastened in anticipation of having to get up to let others in.
• Help people with their bags. Again, this applies mainly to people sitting on the aisle. Offer to take the person's carry-on bag and put it under their seat while they put their other bag in the overhead compartment. It'll help them to get seated twice as fast.
• Be sympathetic to the person in the middle seat. If there's a person in the middle seat who's travelling alone, be conscious of the fact that this person has almost no personal space, especially if they're larger or taller than the average person. Don't hog the shared armrest, and, for crying out loud, endeavor to contain yourself (that's arms, legs, and girth) between your own armrests.
• If you're seated next to a baby, deal with it. It's a fact of life: babies travel. If you're seated next to one, contain your reaction. The last thing the child's parents need is your opinion. Remember, they paid for tickets, too.
• Buy a seat for your infant. You're probably going to need the extra space for a carseat, diaper bag, and what-not, so, unless it's a really short flight, don't just assume that you'll be keeping the child in your lap the whole time.

In flight...

• Sit quietly during the safety speech. Sure, we've all heard it a thousand times, and it's treated as a formality, but it's a legal requirement, and you don't know if the person around you is new to flying. Besides, speaking when someone else is speaking is rude. Also, mocking the flight attendants' actions during the safety speech stopped being funny about 20 years ago.
• Don't use the 'S' word. We stopped calling them stewards and stewardesses back in the 1970's. Do you know why? A steward is basically a waiter. Serving you peanuts is only a secondary responsibility to these people. They're flight attendants. Refer to them as such.
• Do what the flight attendants tell you to do. The flight attendants act as agents of the captain, who is ultimately responsible for the safety of everyone onboard. If you're told that you have to return to your seat, you can be charged with a felony if you disregard their instructions. Yes, a felony. If you should feel the need to strike one of these individuals, you will be met by the police and the FAA at your destination, charged with at least one felony, and you will probably spend a long time in jail. Remember the Three Strikes law? Keep that in mind before you mouth off.
• Don't get drunk. There are a couple of reasons for this. First, nobody wants to be around you when you're drunk, especially the stranger (or strangers) sitting next to you. Second, after awhile, the flight attendants will cut you off. If you're hammered, you may do or say something you'll regret. Besides, it's illegal to be drunk in public. An airplane counts.
• Recline the seat carefully. I've known a lot of people who have had their laptop screens crushed by someone reclining their seat too quickly for them to react. If you think of it, glance behind you, and see if the person is using a laptop. If they are, let them know that you're going to recline, so they have time to move their laptops out of the way.

Landing and deplaning...

• Keep your seatbelt fastened until the light goes off. First of all, there's nothing that's going to happen in the tenth of a second that it takes to unfasten your seatbelt once you're at the gate. Also, if you unfasten your seatbelt before the light goes off, you're compromising the safety of the passengers around you, and committing a felony by disobeying an order from the flight crew. Is it worth a $5,000 fine to stand up half a second sooner? Do you really know whether or not the person across the aisle from you is an FAA inspector? And, yes, they'll cite you for that.
• Wait your turn. Look, it's a simple fact: you're not getting off the plane before the people in front of you. So, if you're seated in the back of the plane, stay seated until the line starts moving.
• Say thank you to the flight attendants and the pilots. They're saying goodbye to you, so thank them for getting you to your destination safely.

At baggage claim...

• Stand back. Remember those 150 people who were on the plane with you? Well, at least half of them are in baggage claim with you (that number increases with the length of the flight). They all want their bags, and when their bags come up, they're going to want to get to them. So, stand back three feet, so that when someone's bag comes up, they have room to retrieve it from the carousel without swinging it into your legs. Standing with your knees against the carousel isn't going to make your bags come out any quicker. Also, here's a tip: on international flights, first class and business class bags generally come out first. If you flew coach on an international flight, let the first class and business class passengers get their bags first. They paid a lot of money for the privilege.
• Be nice to the baggage agent. If the airline has lost your bags, remember: it's not the fault of the person to whom you're talking. Remember, too, that there are two people interested in retrieving your bags. You don't want to piss off one of them.

Generally...

Follow the rules, be courteous, and remember that there are other people on the plane with you. They're experiencing the same thing as you, so why make it less than pleasant?

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